from the time i could make decisions until i was nearly ten, i frowned as hard as i could in any photo, if someone was able to coerce me into it in the first place. then, at the end of my fourth grade year, a classmate brought a camera to school and, though i stuck to my resolution to remain out of the picture, for the first time, i felt an urge to be photographed. for the sake of the record, i suppose. so that someone would look at it and remember a story about me. for the first time, socialization meant something to me, i had to make my own effort.